Jays Journey!

Omg, it feels absolutely exhilarating to sit down and write again. It’s been sometime since I’ve taken the time out to release my thoughts out into the universe. I’ve missed it terribly; I can use the excuse that life has been preventing me from writing but that wouldn’t be the truth.   I lost myself when it came to my writing anything. I’ve been happy, sad and disappointed by so much that it held me from my true self. Whelp, not anymore, I’m feeling like a brand-new woman! Life has been good, let me fix that “it’s been an amazing”. 2019 has been so good to me that I really have no complaints. My career has really taken off. The last time I mentioned my job, I was a rural carrier (mail lady). Well now I am a supervisor and I manage the same employees, I once worked with. The transition wasn’t that hard. However, I did receive some negative energy from those who thought I shouldn’t have gotten the position. Hell, I even got back doored from the person who asked me if I was inter...

I woke up this morning feeling like the day was going to be great until I felt a tear roll down my face.  I knew why it fell, but I wasn’t ready to deal with it. I’m at a breaking point in my life and now I’m finally feeling it. I’ve always been great at masking my pain and hurt from a child and now as an adult. However, the only problem is I never know when something or someone will bring me to this point. I know that it’s not good to hold in your feelings, but I never let them out in fear of hurting someone.  Yet, I hurt myself more by not saying it when it needs to be said and now I as I write I cry. I wasn’t expecting this feeling this morning; I just needed the pain to stay hidden in my heart.  It hurts me even more now because last night my daughter told me that the reason she shows no emotions is because of me. Wow, I never knew that she put on that same brave face as I do, only to mask her true feelings. I now have to find a way to break this cycle because i...

                                                        (I do not own this picture)                                                        I woke up this morning feeling like I really needed to write. I got in from work last night and slept all night long. I did eventually wake up and use the bathroom and I browsed on Facebook and Instagram for a little bit. However, I had a restless night and my dreams were all over the place. I woke up with a slight attitude because I feel like I am tired of people and their lies and excuses. I can say that I’ve had made excuses for some of the things gone wrong in my life, but I can say now that I have no more excuses left. Have you ever been tired of being tired? Well,...

This post may offend some and it may not but if you know like I know that the first line already warns you. So take heed to the warning!!! The topic is about being unsatisfied in a relationship; mentally, physically, sexually but mostly emotionally.  I often question myself when it comes to making sure that I am satisfying my partner. I always feel like I do a good job in all areas of the relationship but that all changes when you’re told otherwise. It blew my mind to think that I’m doing pretty good only to be shot down and told to try again. Me, try again, Huh. This is not happening and I know that it hasn’t happened before.  However, I guess even the most confident person can be shot down and told that something’s isn't working. Some things like what you may be thinking because I was thinking the same thing when I was told I wasn’t. I will go through each word that I mentioned previously before. Mentally : I always feel that you have to be on the same page men...

Guess who finally has a day off, ME! Work is kicking my butt but I’m not complaining. I have a job that provides for me and my family, so for that I am grateful. However there is this one topic that I have to write about because it’s been on my mind for a while now. Love or Lust; what’s the difference, and how do we separate them.  I’ve experienced both love and lust but I knew that it wasn’t the same. However I don’t believe some get that there’s a difference.  Do I think that you can lust over someone and have real feelings, yes I absolutely do. However that doesn’t make you love the person. It just makes you have feelings for that person.  I’ve been in a situation where I developed a friendship and it was a great but the person started to tell me that they love me. I was blown away because in such a short amount of time they felt that it was love that they were feeling. How is it possible to love a person that you barely know? Don’t get me wrong, I honestly believ...