Jays Journey!

I know that I’m not expert in relationships but I swear the last two years of dealing with different personalities, people etc. I’ve learned a whole lot and I know that some of my weight loss is from the stress of it all. I constantly ask myself how I can continue to put my heart on the table only for it to be continually being cut into pieces. However, the one thing I realize that is the most difficult in breaking up is not getting that last kiss. I will explain what I mean by the last kiss amongst other questions we don’t get answered in the end. I was in a relationship a month ago and it felt like the longest rollercoaster in my life. I developed real feelings for this woman even in the short amount of time of knowing her. However, she was a lot of women to handle and at times I thought that we were great. Then there were times I said something’s that I knew would hit her right where it hurt most. I was hurting and I needed her to understand that she was piercing my soul. I

Trying to determine how I should start this it's like in the past couple of months I went from losing my godmother to being in a relationship then not being in a relationship. I was sick to the point I've lost so much weight and I don't recognize who I am. I've noticed that since exploring the idea of being with a woman it has given me a different perspective on relationships. A woman tends to satisfy specific needs, I would say that I get more attention my moods aren't a bother. However, at the same time, I'm noticing that there are things that lack in being in a relationship with a woman. I'm constantly having a battle with my own conscience as if the decision that I made was the right decision. I love women every size, shape, and color. Whether tall, short or skinny it doesn't matter. I know that I will always have a love for women. I stated before being in the relationship that I was in made me happy because I got the attention that I was missing fr

Some people aren't worth your time or the air you breathe. Deep! Some will suck you dry and wait until your last breath to let you go. No need to wonder how this happened. We continue to let people in our realm without knowing who they are. Not everyone is your friend, not everyone who you call family is family. Deep! It's the truth. We must treat our life like it's our last breath. You anticipate the unexpected, you utilize whatever or whoever it is around that is beneficial not just in that moment but for a lifetime. Yes, I understand we are not made to live forever. However, we were made to live, right?. So, if your not living than your slowly killing yourself. Stop worrying about making everything right. Sometimes you need to look at whats wrong so that you can make it right. Our time is precious, and so is the air (God in my case) that gives you life. Stop holding on to those who will put a knee in your chest and wait till that very moment, then they'll free you.

Why is it that when I’m doing well, things start to fall apart. I know it’s been a while and it always seems like I take forever to post up a blog, but I promise you it’s not because I don’t want to. It’s more like life is kicking me in the ass and I don’t know how to stop it. Some reading this may tell me to pray, I’ve done that and as soon as things start turning around BAM!! I am hit with something else.  I had honestly hoped that I could go one year without another death in my family. Wrong, I’ve been dealing with death in my family since 2012 and it’s been a battle since then.  The loss of my mother was excruciating and the pain never stops. I find that what happens is the pain subsides until a memory or event happens.  That’s when I begin to question why do I have to go through this. Seems like I’m right back at that same point again, why? The reason I say this is because my Godmother died last month and it was so unexpected. She goes from having a cold to having major surgery o

I’m learning more and more about the people I attract in my life and why I attract them in my life. The last two years I’ve come across some really good and bad people but I always wonder their purpose.  My decision to move back to Georgia from NY was because I didn’t feel I was at home and my mom was gone. My purpose was served for the time I spent home in NY the moment my mother was placed on the ground.  I was unhappy and I needed to find the serenity that I had when I move to Georgia the first time. Once I got back I had to start building my life all over again, that meant I had to find a job, new acquaintances etc. Since I didn’t really get out much because the lack of being motivated and unemployed I turned to social networking.  You can really narrow down who you want to talk to, meet up with or build something with. Well, my experiences have been good and bad.  I will give you a few experiences I’ve had and are still having.  Many are ashamed that they have met people offline,

I don’t even know where to begin but when I say life has been kicking me in the butt.. smh I always feel incomplete when I stop writing but sometimes you have to regroup and come back stronger. I’ve been fighting with my emotions on my break up with my ex who I truly loved but things didn’t work out. I was the reason for the breakup and I think at some point I couldn’t forgive myself for letting her go. I even tried to mend a friendship again but the hurt was still there and I believe she hadn’t forgiven me for hurting her. I understand the hurt that I caused and I don’t blame her for it not working out. My reason for talking about my breakup is that I learned that when you go through so many bad relationships you don’t realize what a good one is suppose to be. Although, distance played a huge part in my decision in the breakup, the love I had for her was real. The saying goes “you don’t miss a good thing until it’s gone”. Well I know this to be true because I missed the hell out of h