Jays Journey!

This week was supposed to be filled with joy and happiness, but it wasn’t. It was my birthday and I should’ve had the best week ever. However, I was feeling very alone and depressed. Thank God for my coworkers who made me feel somewhat special. They treated me out to a Mexican restaurant for drinks and food. I had a blast and got a little tipsy, but it was what I needed. I needed that to forget that I was feeling sad because I didn’t get a cake or much less a card. Should I not feel this way because I’m older? Yes, I can feel this way knowing that I have family and my friends that I always show love to on any special occasions. Why can’t I at least expect a card that says happy birthday? Well I have put my feelings to the side so that I can face what it is that I’m dealing with today and that’s “ Depression ” Depression is real; it’s as you real as you being sick with the flu or even worse. Depression causes so many illness and worst Death by Suicide. I’m not trying to self-diagn

These past few weeks have been crazy and I’m feeling depleted. My energy is low and I’m even losing weight. I’ve tried to understand why I am going through all that I am and still I can’t come up with anything. My grandfather died on Father’s Day and that really hurt my heart to the core. I was just planning a vacation to go back home and spend time with him. I didn’t make it and didn’t realize that the last time I would get to see him again would be in a casket; saying goodbye for the last time. I went back home for the funeral and to my surprise I found myself being depressed and it was because I was staying at my mother’s house. The memories were flooding my mind; I felt myself waiting for her to emerge from her room and say hello. That didn’t happen and I couldn’t take it. I cried for the time I was there, but I also found myself drinking the entire time I was there too. I couldn’t wait to leave, but I was also sad because I knew that it would be a long time before I see my family