Jays Journey!

It’s getting close to mothers day and I really haven’t been feeling like myself. I want to cry, scream, sleep just so that I can’t try and mask the pain that is coming on stronger each day. She’s not here and I can’t believe that I’m supposed to just accept this. Yes, I understand that she’s in a better place right now but am I? I still pick up my phone and want to dial her number to tell all the good and bad things going on in my life. I can’t because she’s gone and it breaks every vein in my heart when I think about it. I miss her and I need her with me not only spiritually but physically as well. Mother’s Day will not be the same for me anymore and I know that I’m a mother but how can I smile when I want to cry. I’m being told think about the times she made you smile or laugh. I can do all that but guess what I would normally do when I think about what she did to make me laugh or smile. I would call her and remind her of what she did to make that happen.  Now where does th

Its feels like forever since I’ve written anything and I know that my work schedule has a lot to do with it but I won’t make excuses and I will try and write as much as I can for now on.  My current situation is that I’m in the library to be able to connect to the internet so that I can write. So here are the latest events that have been going on in my life. Part 2 Work has been great and I’ve been getting the hours I want which means that I’m doing good. My baby girl has finally decided that she wants to try out for a sport and drama class. I know she will do well in drama because she is a drama queen. Not to mention her being a teenager is still hard because next year she will be going to high school. I’m really going to cry then and believe me I’m going to be on my game with them little dirty boys who try and talk to my baby. I’m not going to say that I don’t think she will not be into boys and that boys are not going to like her. I’m simply saying that she will not be able to