Entering into my world pt.1

I find that my outlet is more therapeutic than speaking to anyone. When I write I become happier and my mind just begins to flow. No worries about what anyone thinks. Its just me and my thoughts.

I notice that as I get older the less I tolerate bullshit. Sorry to be so frank but I know that people don't like me for unknown reasons. Men seem to try me like I'm still twenty one and I don't know what I want in a relationship. Why I ask myself because I'm a strong, intelligent, and a no nonsense woman. I guess, but I don't have time to figure out anyone else issues. You don't like me, so what I just don't care. Let me give you an example. I worked at the post office and there was this woman who I thought at first was cool. We weren't friends but we weren't enemies either. Until one day she went left field on me. She  didn't like me and wanted everyone to know that she didn't. She told people to stay away from me because i was trouble. Mind you she didn't know anything about me. Her reason behind not looking me was that she wasn't feeling my vibe. My vibe I said what the hell does that mean. She couldn't answer me so from that point on we were now enemies. She told people that I wanted others to feel sorry for me because my mom died. Now this pissed me off, my mothers death had nothing to do with why she didn't like me. Long story short she didn't like me because the men where paying me attention and not her. I mean really your old and not that attractive and well I'm not bad on the eyes at all. I'm far from conceited but I will not downplay the situation. She was jealous and instead of saying that she said it was my vibe. This is what I will not tolerate, grown people having issues because they aren't happy with themselves.

Now where do I begin with the men. I know I am very picky when it comes to men. As anyone should be now a days. I refuse to just settle because he can make me temporarily happy. I'm wanting a life partner. One who will forever be my best friend even through the good and bad times. I need him to love my child as if he birth her. Now is he out there is the question. I prayed for
Him to be and the lord does say to seek and ye shall find. Ask and it shall be given until you.  All I know is that I've had my share of assholes. I've had some that are miserable, tired, lazy and down right nasty. Sex is great but it's not everything. People don't want to get to no you anymore. They want to sleep with you to determine if they want to have a relationship. What the heck is that all about. Okay so what if the sex is great but the personality sucks. Do you over look that because she gives good head or you think the twat is good? Sad that people don't want to last forever. They want what's good for right now. 

I'll continue to work on myself and wait on my husband to come when he suppose to. I'll be ready for him because I'm not distracted by temporary happiness. I'm sure this won't be the last time I talk about this subject but for now I'll leave it at that. Love can last forever, people are so miserable with themselves that they will try and bring you down with them. I'm better than that and on that note I'll be back....