Love or Lust

Guess who finally has a day off, ME! Work is kicking my butt but I’m not complaining. I have a job that provides for me and my family, so for that I am grateful. However there is this one topic that I have to write about because it’s been on my mind for a while now. Love or Lust; what’s the difference, and how do we separate them.  I’ve experienced both love and lust but I knew that it wasn’t the same. However I don’t believe some get that there’s a difference.  Do I think that you can lust over someone and have real feelings, yes I absolutely do. However that doesn’t make you love the person. It just makes you have feelings for that person.

 I’ve been in a situation where I developed a friendship and it was a great but the person started to tell me that they love me. I was blown away because in such a short amount of time they felt that it was love that they were feeling. How is it possible to love a person that you barely know? Don’t get me wrong, I honestly believe that it is possible to love someone after dating for only a few months. Do I believe in love at first site, No I do not.  Why, you could be wondering. Well I believe that is all a part of lusting after that person. You know that the person is great and you may love all the qualities about that person but loving a person the moment you meet them. Nope I’m not buying it and I hope you don’t either. If you do believe this old wise tale, than please get your LIFE!! You will only hurt yourself in the end. Back in the old days (before I was even thought of...lol) I believe that our grandparents and great grandparents found someone who was suitable for their needs and wants.  Where they in love when they got married? Maybe or maybe not but it worked for them back then. It doesn’t work in this century. We are or should be in tuned with ourselves and what makes us happy. So many of us want to be in love or want a relationship that we are will to sacrifice anything to get it. Even, if that means lowering our standards, dealing with abuse, but mostly losing our self worth.  

You have to love yourself more than any other person loves you.

To truly love someone takes time, patience and maturity. You can’t love someone and still think like a child. You can’t love someone and not have patience to deal with the good and bad that comes with a relationship. Most importantly there should never be a rush for you or your partner to say I love you because it takes time to understand the love your feeling.  You don’t want to rush or feel rushed into saying that you love a person. I have been in that place where I’ve felt kind of pressured into feeling like I should love a person. Only because that person kept on saying that they loved me and even though I voiced that I didn’t feel the same way; I felt like I was letting the person down by not saying it. Was it wrong for me to say I love you, even though it was more of getting out the way, absolutely? However I eventually felt the love that the other person felt for me. It took some time but I feel like it took a toll on me personally. I was always questioning what am I doing? Was this what I really want for myself? It was like how I could tell someone everyday that I loved them but in the back of my mind I had these thoughts. Only time would answer those ongoing questions I had for myself.  Eventually, I came up with an answer and it was yes I do love them but it wasn’t in a way that they loved me. I loved them for the person that they where and how they treated me as a person. Nope, I wasn’t in love and I had to come to terms with that before hurting the person and continuing on with a relationship that would’ve been built on a lie.

I’m just trying to say that you shouldn’t put all of yourself into a relationship that you aren’t sure is right. How do you know its right? Well if you know that you can’t wait to wake up, go to sleep, touch or hear that person voice and smile every time you know he/she is near. That to me sounds about near right...Lol Lust will only last temporarily and those goose bump feelings that you felt will soon fade away. Now, when you love someone those feelings will only begin to get stronger and stronger every day.  Don’t let someone tell you they love you and you only say it back out of obligation. It will eventually hurt the both involved. So, the next time someone tells you that they love you, ask them what makes them love you? If they can only come up with how you make them feel, then my advice would be to ask them how they actually feel about themselves. The only reason why I said to ask them that is because some people have low self-esteem and the only way that they can feel good about themselves is to find someone that makes them feel good about themselves.  I think I could continue forever with this subject. My advice is just being sure its love and not lust before you make a decision in going forward with a relationship.  Until next time