Jays Journey!

You ever wanted to be daddy's little girl. I believe that every little girl has the desire to be daddy's little princess. Unfortunately it doesn't always work out like that and the little girl always wind up with her heart broken and dreams crushed. My perception on a daddy's girl is a man who cherishes his daughter. Fathers who wants nothing but the best for her and see’s her as his princess that no one can have. I was once this little girl who wanted nothing more than to have her father around full time. I really don't have many memories of spending time with my father. I only remember bits and pieces growing up. I can recall him always making promises that he never kept. I remember it being my birthday and he called me maybe a week or two prior to let me know to look out for my birthday card. He told me he sent me some money and wanted me to go buy something nice for myself. Here I am about to be 9 or 10 years old, excited because my father said he was going...

This post is more of me venting about life and the pain I've gone through (and still going through). Reflecting that's what I'll say that I'm doing Every since my mom passed away I've gone through so many changes in my life. I've gone through a slight depression (didn't even realize that I have), moved out of New York, Unemployment... Etc. You get it I'm going through a lot of different changes in my life. I do notice one thing that has changed and that is my relationship with God. I'm not saying that I don't believe in God or anything like that, I'm merely saying that I don't feel the closeness that I once did. Yes, I know it’s all on me and I'm trying to regain the confidence I once I had when saying that I am a Christian. I am far from perfect and I'm not trying to be. (I'm speaking honestly here) I'm just trying to get through each day without having a mental breakdown because things aren't going as I feel t...

Again this post may not be something that you want to read. So if you have a problem with my openness then please does not continue reading. I have said this countless times to avoid anyone being offended. So on that notes you've been warned. So she decided she wanted to leave and I was like fine we can go to my house and play cards or something. She stormed out of Barnacles and got in her car and sped off. She sped off so fast that we could hear her driving down the block. We got in the car and my friend decided to speed after her and I asked him what his problem was and he never answered. (So you know I'm pissed off to the max) We arrived at my house and she was already there when we got there. She was packing her stuff in her bag and I still wanted to know what her issue was about. She said that he was the guy she had been talking about this whole time. My face became so hot and I instantly went from 3 to a 10. (My nerves where terrible and this bitch was about to get h...

This entry may not be for everyone to read. You have been warned so don’t ask me why I wrote this blog. I’m going to go a little Zane on ya’ll for this entry. If you are not interested in my love life and my experiences then this is not for you to read.  This is about one of my best and worst experience with dealing with a guy down here in Georgia. I can’t possible write everything in one post so it will be a continuation on this post itself.  Again you've been WARNED!!!! When I first came down to Georgia I got hired at BJ’s Wholesale and there was this guy who was sexy as hell. He wasn't my typical type of guy I would normally go for but he had swag. Yes I said it sway..lol. He was from up north and I think that is what made me so attracted to him, I found out he wasn't seeing anyone and made sure that I made it my business to get his attention. He worked down in the tire bay but he rarely ever did any work. I would go down to the tire bay during my lunch and flirt w...

Okay this right here is for the fellas. I don't want my blog to seem like its only for woman because it’s not.  So I'm going to flip it and shed some light on why woman act the way they do sometimes. Some may agree and some may not but remember this is just my opinion. Okay, woman always say they want a real man, a good man, a faithful man...etc (you get it) However are some ready for this your of man when they get one. I will say that there not at all. Why they aren’t ready because they have been lies to, cheated on, abused and so on... These are the woman who always say they are ready to be in a serious relationship and it’s only because the fear of being alone. Now we meet these men and they give us the world but because we aren't ready for it we treat them like trash. Well I am not ashamed to say I was once this woman. I was young and not ready to be in a relationship at all. Now it doesn't make it right how I treat this man who thought the world of me. He ...

This post will be showcasing my dear friend Kali Mysteek business. I've known him for a couple of years and I will tell you that we get along because we both keep it real. He is openly gay and knows who he is as person! I know its not my normal post but I wanted to help him and support what he does. So take the time out and show him some love. Kali Mysteek is a native in Atlanta,Ga. He’s a graduate of Bauder College and has a major in Fashion Design with a minor in Fashion Merchandising. While in school he developed a love for Fashion and decided that he would one day start his own business. I would describe Kali as a motivator, energetic,career driven, and an all around person. He feels that it’s important to give back to the community. He has provided his service as a wardrobe stylist for cancer awareness.and other organizations that gives back and promotes self awareness.   While building his agency Kali Mysteek's achieved many accomplishments before ...

This one right here is crazy as hell but after speaking to my friend I had to do a blog on it. I was told that men brains shuts down after they have been single for a while and are tired of masturbating. (I need to know of this is true). I was told that a man can masturbate with any issues but after a while there erections become more intense (more frequent). Making it harder to please them by masturbating and because of this there penis takes control and causes them to sleep with any woman. Even if the women aren’t attractive it no longer matters because they just want to get a nut off. (His exact words were: the dick is like the hell what you say this chick wants to give me some ass) He told me this is why some unattractive woman have these fine ass men. Now do I believe this to be facts...? Not really but I thought it was still worth writing about. Come on ladies I'm not the only one out there that have seen some couples and thought what the hell she did to snag a sexy ...

Okay wasn't going to post anything else until next week but I'm feeling a type of way and I need to get it off my chest. So I though what better way to get it out then to write and see if anyone else is feeling like me tonight.  Ugh, I'm sitting here sipping on some wine with my best friend and I'm thinking to myself why the hell am I home on a Friday night. Why am I not out having some drinks or out with a sexy man. (Told ya'll I was having a moment) This single life is for the fucking birds (excuse my French) but damn I need a little TLC right now. (Told ya'll before I have a child and I'm not a virgin...lol) Look a woman has needs and I don't get the excitement in playing with toys and getting yourself off. Personally it just pisses me off because I need some male attention after it’s all said and done. Yeah I said it I need some good old loving that a toy won’t give me. (Still having a moment...lol) I deserve a good man dammit and I've been ...

Now of course this question has two answers to it and as you know I'll explain with my own experience in both answers. (This is just my opinion) Let's start off by saying hell nah you can't be friends with an ex if you've had a sexual relationship with them. The being friends theory after you have had sex is hard because someone may still have feelings. Then when you try to be their friend they may have get those thoughts of trying to work things out. I'm not saying that everyone thinks like this but most people will agree that sex changes things. There was this guy that I started seeing when I first moved down to Georgia. He wasn't the typical guy that I would normally date. He was short, (I like my men tall..Lol) a cancer, (which meant that he was too much like me) and was very arrogant. However there was something about him that I was intrigue by. His eyes drew me in and from that moment I was stuck...lol We started out as friends and one day he drov...

Now let me explain what I mean by this topic. We all have friends that we trust with all of our secrets and we tell them everything. However what we don't ever think is that we would be betrayed by them. I've been guilty with this as well. I'm far from perfect and sometimes you just need to tell someone else what's going on. (at least tell someone that's not in the same circle as you. This way it won’t come back to bite you in the butt) so, hence the title I've chosen. Don't trust your friends with your business unless you know that you can trust them with your life. (I am going to be very honest in this post and it does contain some sexual details. If you don't want to know certain things about me, I ask that you please stop reading now...lol) I've been on the receiving end of my business being brought back to me from someone who clearly shouldn't have known my business. I had a best friend who I trusted with all my dirty little secrets. I ...

Why are most people afraid of change? They’re afraid of change because it’s different; it’s out of their comfort box.  They feel that if they allow change in their life that they will lose control. I will explain what I mean by control My step father as strong as he is has a fear of change. He is always afraid of change because of the sense of not being in control. He knew where his next pay check was coming from. He knew when he needed to go to the doctor if something wasn't feeling right. He knows if he pays his rent he'll have a roof over his head. In his mind he even knew that he would have his wife around for a long time. However the day my mom got sick and until the day she died he had no control over that. He felt a sense of loss and control and he didn't know how to deal with it. He was now forced to change everything about his life. He no longer would wake up next to her (change). He would no longer be able to spend the important days that meant the most to th...

Have you ever been in a predicament where you felt someone was right for you only to find out that he was with someone?   Let me explain We all have the perfect type of guy/gal that we would love to be with.  My guy would be tall, brown skin, intelligent, and spiritual. I also wouldn't mind if he has children. I'm a single mom and at this point in my life finding a readymade family would be great. This way we can combine our family. No need to look for a man who doesn't have children because he may want to have children. (Uh don't know about that one) I'm not getting any younger and my body it’s a ticking time clock. (Ladies you already know) Let's see where I begin, there's this guy that haven't known for very long but was there was something about him that made me want him. He's a single dad and he's a fantastic dad at that. He's a gentleman and knows what he wants in life. I could drag out everything about him that I like but I w...

I swear I've been through so many tough obstacles in my life and I've gotten through them all with God. However something's never seem to change when it comes to people. They always seem to show their true colors after a while. I'm going to write about some of the many challenges that I've gone through with my non sexual life (lol), men, phony people and different things. However throughout this blog I will never mention anyone by name because I'm not trying to get sued...lol especially over the truth and yes I said the truth. It maybe my truth but I'm going to keep it 100% real. I'm going to touch on Men today because it seems that's the main bullshit that I've been dealing with now a day Mr. Nice Guy: That's what I'm going to call the guy that I will be talking about, however his name may change during the blog and you'll see why...lol I started talking to Mr. Nice guy through an online dating website (yes online) the c...

I find that my outlet is more therapeutic than speaking to anyone. When I write I become happier and my mind just begins to flow. No worries about what anyone thinks. Its just me and my thoughts. I notice that as I get older the less I tolerate bullshit. Sorry to be so frank but I know that people don't like me for unknown reasons. Men seem to try me like I'm still twenty one and I don't know what I want in a relationship. Why I ask myself because I'm a strong, intelligent, and a no nonsense woman. I guess, but I don't have time to figure out anyone else issues. You don't like me, so what I just don't care. Let me give you an example. I worked at the post office and there was this woman who I thought at first was cool. We weren't friends but we weren't enemies either. Until one day she went left field on me. She  didn't like me and wanted everyone to know that she didn't. She told people to stay away from me because i was trouble. Mind you s...

Throughout my transitions I've made once my mom passed away had me thinking. Did I make the right decisions in regards to my life, my child's life? Did I run away to forget that she was gone? Am I depressed and I don't know it? Why do I cry? Why do I feel so lost yet everyone around me is moving forward. I have a right to hurt but do I have the right to hide that hurt. I smile on the outside but my spirit yearns for help. It's hard to pray, it's hard to believe that things are going to get better. How can I feel ok when a part of me is gone? I reverted back to ways that I asked God to take away. I lash out to those who don't deserve it. No one knows my hurt, no one understand that I sometimes want to disappear. Here I am again at a place where I found happiness but the happiness is at a distance and I'm trying to reach it. I speak joy into my life but because my faith is weak the joy is not as abundant as I know it can be. I prayed and ask God to give m...