Tribute to her **RIP MOMMY**

Today marks the one year anniversary of my mother’s passing. I am torn by my emotions, I don't know if I want to cry, scream, hit something or just be alone. I know God is the reason I was able to get through this year. To be honest I thought I was going to find myself being really depressed and alone. Thank God for great friends and family but most of my beautiful daughter who keeps me smiling. I know most of ya'll will be partying and getting ready to bring in this year smiling. I will be remembering my mother with videos and picture to soothe my pain. I ask that you pray for me and my family in this time of sorrow. I miss her and wanted to share something I wrote to her right after she died. May you sleep in peace my angel; I love you and miss you always

 My heart heavy from the pain in your eyes
Helpless because I can't take you away
My eyes water and tears began to stream down
How can I help you
How can I make you feel better
I need you
We need you
How can I stay strong when my heart hurts when I see you cry
How can I live without her
My mother
My mom
My rock
My everything
Now your my angel with wings that smile down at me every day.
I sit here in a daze wondering why
Why did this happen to me
Why couldn't someone else go through this pain
Why couldn't he call someone else’s name
My friend
My role model
My everything
My Mommy
As each day goes by everything has changed
So can someone please tell me why am I still feeling this pain
I cry at the thoughts of her
Not smiling
Not laughing
Not fussing and screaming
Why now
I can't seem to wrap my head around that
My life has to gone on without her in it
The hurt in my father’s eyes
The confusion on my siblings face
This time we all wish we could erase
The signs that she was sick that day
The day it all ended and the doctor told me she had gone away
My screams still echo’s in my mind as if he if keeps telling me one time
She's gone
Gone to be with God
Gone so that she could watch over us forever
Although she isn't here physically  here I can feel her near as I start to feel my tears 
Roll down my face
All of a sudden her smile is imprinted in my head
Even though the tears does not stop
I often tell her I love her and 
bow my head and pray
Only God can take this pain away
I just wish this was all to a dream so that I can wake up and tell her that 
I love her
I need her
I miss her
So many things I want to tell her
Thanksgiving
Christmas
Birthdays
Mothers day
Will never be the same
No mistakes
No worries
No pain
God knew what he was doing when he called out her name
Although, things will never be the same
I know gods best angel Judith Ann Carter love will always remain the same.
 
 

May you have a blessed and prosperous New Year! Cherish those that you love because you never know when that last goodbye is forever. 

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