Not everyone is your friend, know the true meaning!

Hey ladies and gents. This post that I’m about to do may or may not offend some people who know me personally. However this isn't my intent but you should already know that I keep it 100% real with you and I will not change that on a count of someone taking it the wrong way.

Let me brief you on what I’m writing about so you can understand why I said what I did, you ever really sit down and evaluate who is real and who isn't real in your life. Well over time I have and I’ve really tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. However, that doubt was very true and I should’ve followed my heart and let it go. Not everyone is supposed to be in your life forever, sad but in this case very true. You all should know by now that I am big advocate for making sure you always put family first but this topic applies to them to. I apologize to anyone reading this post and you’ve taken offense to what I’ve said because you see yourself in what I’m saying.

Now the stories may all have one or two things in common. It was during the loss of my mother or it has just been a time when I just needed someone there emotionally.

Now where do I start on this topic?

The co-worker

Let me start with a person that was going through a really rough time in his/her life and I was there for them in every way. I’m talking this person no longer wanted to be on this earth anymore because they felt that their life was no longer worth anything. What did I do as a friend, a Christian, a person who cared? I prayed everyday for this person, I cried with this person and I even had other people pray for this person. This person called me every day for about a good week with doubts of their self worth. Every time this person called me during their week of struggle I answered the phone without letting it ring more than three times. I had fear in my heart that they could actually take their life and I wasn’t there to help physically. I felt that during this time I was doing what I was supposed to do as a real friend would. I can say that this person did not commit suicide.  I thank God they didn't because it was one of those instance where it was due to another person lack of regards for someone else feelings.

Now can I say that this person has done the same for me, I absolutely can’t and I know that sometimes you have to do what is called of you as a Christian? (That is another topic) but as a person who consider this person a friend. I expected the same courtesy that I gave out when that person needed me to comfort them.  I can give a million examples but I’ll give the most import one of all. When I lost my mother I barely even heard from this person and I reached out during those times I needed to vent and cry the most. That respect and loyalty as a friend was not reciprocated at all. I was hurt and mad all at the same time but I took it as maybe that person don’t know what to say to me during this time. I gave them the benefit of the doubt again but later found out that it was not the case. It was plain as day and that was that this person that I called a friend was not that to me. They were just someone that needed me for a moment and when that moment was over it was over. I take this lesson and I’ve learned that it’s okay to be there for people but don’t ever expect the same treatment in return. Some people aren’t built like you are.

The family member

Yes, you have them to. It’s a sad thing when you can’t even count on your family to be there in the time of need. However they too are human and will treat you like every other human being.

Now one thing about this particular family member is when didn’t grow up together but we always shared a special bond, so I thought. I will only give you the short version of this story because I could go so far into it that it will be too much. I had just lost my mom and this person told me that they would be there for me hands down when I needed them. I’m thinking to myself okay well right now will be the best time for you to be with me. Plans where being arrange for this person to be there but at the last minute they no longer felt it was good to come. They listen to one of their friends who told them that it would be best if they came at a later date to comfort me. What kind of madness is that! My mother was not going to be buried at a later date. I really thought that during that time of bereavement that it couldn’t have been a better time. I needed that person and I was let down and it hurt me to my core. I thought we were rock solid and had the shoe been on the other foot I would’ve made it my business to be here for them. No questions, no excuses, no worries because family means that much to me. Can I say things are the same with us right now? I actually can’t say that and it hurts me that I can’t. They love is still there and always will be but I will never forget that when I needed them the most I was let down the hardest.

Again, the love will never go away and if that person ever have to deal with this kind of hurt I would jump right on it and make sure their taken care of, You know I would do that because that is just who I am.

The Companion/ Lover/ Side piece (whatever you want to call him/her)

I will make this short and simple. Just because they tell you they love you and will be there for you don’t mean they will. If you have someone who cares about you they will be there for you in all instances.

I had this guy that I just rekindle things with and before everything went down with my mom we were hanging out and talking about be together again. Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong again. As soon as I told him my mom died, he shut down and stayed away for a while. I texted him and called him because I figured as a guy who’s suppose to be my man would be there for me not run away. (My daughters’ father held me down... and he’s not my man) I needed him to distract me from all that was going on and he couldn’t do that for me. His excuse was that he thought I needed time alone. Uh no, when someone is going through that type of pain they need people who love and care for them to be around. I know some people get depressed and push people away. Well, hello I was not one of those people because I wanted to get away and have someone love on me. Did I get it nope and I know that I will never rely on him to be the man to be there for me. His lost!!

I’m a strong individual and some people will see that about you and will take it for all its worth. Don’t let them because they’ll bleed you dry and you’ll be wondering why you don’t have anyone you can call on when need be. Now, don’t get it twisted folk. I am far from a sucker and I don’t like being hurt at all but I will not treat other people how they treat me. I will be more cautious when dealing with people and given them the title of friend will definitely have to be earned.  I have real friends and I want you all to remember it was never about a physical or finical with me but more of emotional need for me. I accepted it and it’s sad but I can count on one hand who my real friends are. Evaluate who you can call a friend or not so that you won’t be hurt in the end. Don’t expect people to be how you are because you’ll be disappointed every time. I promise you that!!