A letter to him

I needed to vent and get this out before I blew my top. I swear when you try to be friends people don't know how to just accept that without feeling like everyone has an ulterior motive..Shit this is why I'm single with very few real friends. 


Dear Mr. Mixed Emotions,

                I can't deal with your mixed emotions. I thought I was being a friend to you. I told you that my mind wasn't on being with you. You say that you are still in love with your ex. I'm no one’s fool and I will never play second place to anyone. You kept playing theses movies in your head but you need to stop and look at reality in the face. She is not in your life and she's not for a reason. I was trying to be a part of your life but you can't see past fucking me. Sorry for being so blunt but damn I was just trying to be your friend. When I prayed for you I prayed for the healing of your heart and mind so that you can have peace. Not for God to show you who I am. I'm showing you who I am and that isn't enough for you. I'm pissed because you keep saying the same thing. You did Use me just like those other men you talk about. I was your distraction and you needed me to avoid dealing with your stuff you got going on. Did I every say I want you to be my man? No I sent you encouraging inspirations to help you deal with your hurt and you know what you did to me. You slapped me right in the face when all I was trying to do was be a friend. Don't tell me how I'm such a good woman. I don't have a doubt in my body that I am. God knows me and he knows my good intentions when it came to you. It’s unfortunate that you didn't. I refuse to be hurt by you or anyone else. Love is unconditional and because you don't understand it you push it away. I was once in your place and I tell you it took me over 7 years to realize that it’s ok to be loved without looking for anything to fail. My heart is full of love and my mind is clear. I know what I want and I do know that if you want me as a friend then I need you to be a friend to me. Don't be so quick to look for our friendship to fail. If you really want me in your life then start acting like it.  I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm done!


                                                                                 Sincerely, 
                                                                                        No longer your distraction!



Honestly folk if you don't feel like you can be a friend to someone than don't put them through the heartache. I wasn't in love nor was I ready to pour myself into this man. However, what I was willing to do is be his friend and let him lean on me as that. When you look for something to fail then guess what it will! Not only that he's in love with his ex girlfriend...smh I'll pass on trying to make anything happen and my last words to him were "My heart will never close and if there is someone that comes along that will give me what I need then I'm all in" Time waits for no one and neither do I. Prayer works and it changes things. I said a prayer a long time ago and I know my role in this man's life. It’s just sad that he doesn’t see what it is he has in me. Whelp I'm not going to cry over spilt milk. Until next time

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