Living in the moment
My weekend was one of the best I have ever had!! As you know I told you that I would keep you posted on what decision I would come up in regards to him. Well I will honestly say that during the visit we talked about us for a little bit but I wanted to enjoy the moment that I was having. I didn’t want to think about the possibilities that this was a moment that wouldn’t last forever. I enjoyed the walks, talks, the hugs, and waking up to someone holding me. I lived in the moment and didn’t have a care in the world. The story is someone like a lifetime movie…lol but when I explain you’ll see exactly what I mean.
As you know this trip was not planned and I had to make a quick heartfelt decision. I chose to go and see how things where between us in person. We talk a good talk over the phone or Skype but haven’t done the face to face talk in a very long time. Anyway, I was on the bus and my mind was all over the place. You know with the “what if questions” and my nerves where bad. I couldn’t really think that much because he called me and wanted to talk to me the whole ride. He wanted to make sure that I was okay because it was late night trip. I couldn’t sleep at all and I was enjoying the fact that he cared. The last hour I felt myself drifting off and I told him that I would call him when I arrived. He agreed because he himself was going to try and take a quick nap. I finally fell asleep with only 40 minutes before I got there. I was mad at myself because I should’ve tried to sleep more than I did. I was five minutes away and I was about to call him and let him know but I looked at my phone and he had texted “wake up….Hi”. All I could do was smile as we pulled up in the station and of course the butterflies started fluttering in my stomach. I got off the bus and grabbed my bag from the curve and I when I turned around I saw him. I walked toward him only to be stopped by two men getting off the bus and they seem like when I moved to the right they moved to the right. They needed to get out my way because he was trying to get to me. He smiled when I did get through and hugged me as tight as he could. He grabbed the bag out of my hand and we went to his car. He opened the door and put my things in the back seat. He asked if I was tired and if I still wanted to go to Wal-Mart. It was almost 1:00am and I was tired but I felt a little surge of energy come out of nowhere. We actually drove around his town for a little bit and then we went to Wal-Mart. He wanted to make sure I had everything I needed before we got back to his place. We got some breakfast food and some toiletries that I needed to get. We played around at the self checkout lane and he put me in a playful head lock but while doing so he manages to nibble on my ear. He wasn’t slick but it was cute and I was enjoying the moment. We finally where on our way to his place, which he told me would take another 25 minutes to get to. Ugh, I was ready to take a shower and go to bed. I was hoping he remembered what I told him before I got there. (To have my towel and loafer ready when I got there) We rode down this long road and he put on some music and he grabbed my hand. Yes, for the remainder of the trip we held hand up until we pulled up to his place. I was about to open my door but I saw that he was rushing over to my side to open it before I did. I waited and let him be the gentlemen that he is; I was finally being treated like I deserved to be. Let me forward this part some. We put the groceries away and he told me that my towel and loafer was waiting on me. I grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom but I needed my other bag that was in the other room. I had forgotten that I had my shirt up and my jeans where unbutton and ready to take off. He came in the bathroom behind me and he hugged me and started kissing me. He sat down on the chest drawer that was in the bathroom and pulled me over to him. He looked at me with so much hunger and desire to know what it would finally feel like to have me this close to his face. We kiss some more and he helped me get undress. I told him I was going to get in the shower and I could use some help washing my back…lol ( you get it and if you don’t than your slow…lol) We finally made it to bed and that didn’t last long because right after I got into the bed I found myself in the shower washing up one more time.
I woke up to his arms wrapped around me and a soft kiss on my neck and in between the kisses he whispered good morning. What a freaking good morning it was because I was smiling from ear to ear. Yup, I got a good morning kiss right along with some good morning loving...lol Anyway, it was early and I was up and ready to see what he had planned for us. He cooked breakfast and did some of our laundry because we made a mess on them sheets. I decided since he cooked that I would wash dishes. We finally got dressed and he told me that he wanted me to check out his barber. Guess I needed a shape up since I wasn’t able to get one last minute. I was fine with that and I let him do his thing. I pissed off at his barber because he cut too much hair off but I looked good. He couldn’t stop looking at me and called me sexy. I jokingly said to him “oh now I’m sexy” he replied “I’ve said you where, beautiful, pretty, gorgeous and this isn’t the first time I’ve called you sexy” Shut me up real quick…lol. We went to the mall and did a little shopping and ate some food. We went downtown and we walked all around arm and arm. Which I thought was very cute. I even noticed how whenever I was walking on the outside of him (meaning he would be next to the stores while I was towards the street) he would switch places and make sure I was walking on the inside. I know there’s a saying with this, it’s something where if you’re with a woman you let her walk outside of you to let men know that she’s available and if you keep her inside it means that she isn’t available… I could be wrong but I don’t think that I am. Now, please do know that my head didn’t get all big and my heart didn’t go crazy because he did this. I know my place and I’m okay with him being a respectful man it’s who he is. Okay this story could go on and on and on but I’m just going to cut to the chase. We had a great time and it has been forever since I’ve been treated as good as he treated me. It gets no better than, doors were being opened for you, my coat being put on for me, every time I got out the shower I’m being dried off. These are the times I wish this was a forever thing but I knew that the reality of it all was not that.
Now we had the infamous talk that we needed to get out the way. Where did I stand? What were his feelings about what I had previously talked about? Questions like this is what I needed answers to and he closed up on me a little but we got through it. I asked him what made him change his mind about seeing me. He said that he felt I knew what I wanted and that he was ready to see me. I only asked him this because two times prior to this that I was suppose to go see him and he changed his mind at the last minute. Yeah, I was pissed off because he was playing games and I was sure it was what he was going to do this time. Guess I was proven wrong. We basically came up to this conclusion and that is; we will continue to be friends and get to know each other, no talk about relationships and no pressure about being in one together. Some may say that I have set myself up to be hurt by allowing myself to enjoy the outer boundaries of friendship. Well I say this to you that don’t understand what it feels like to be hurt and once your past the hurt you body becomes immune to the possibilities of letting anyone back in. Now, I’m not saying that I’m immune to his actions or words because I’m not at that point yet. However, I know that I left feeling more confident that things would be okay with us now than they were before. I’m not looking for him to tell me that he loves me or that he wants a relationship. I’m good either way and my life doesn’t have to stop because I care about him. I’ll still date and enjoy my time with my other friends. That’s the reality of it all. I enjoyed living in the moment of having him all to myself for this short time and I’ll keep that memory tucked away so that I can pull it out whenever I feel like it. It’s entirely too much to write about but I’m sure I’ll write a little more here and there for you who want to know.
Until next time…
As you know this trip was not planned and I had to make a quick heartfelt decision. I chose to go and see how things where between us in person. We talk a good talk over the phone or Skype but haven’t done the face to face talk in a very long time. Anyway, I was on the bus and my mind was all over the place. You know with the “what if questions” and my nerves where bad. I couldn’t really think that much because he called me and wanted to talk to me the whole ride. He wanted to make sure that I was okay because it was late night trip. I couldn’t sleep at all and I was enjoying the fact that he cared. The last hour I felt myself drifting off and I told him that I would call him when I arrived. He agreed because he himself was going to try and take a quick nap. I finally fell asleep with only 40 minutes before I got there. I was mad at myself because I should’ve tried to sleep more than I did. I was five minutes away and I was about to call him and let him know but I looked at my phone and he had texted “wake up….Hi”. All I could do was smile as we pulled up in the station and of course the butterflies started fluttering in my stomach. I got off the bus and grabbed my bag from the curve and I when I turned around I saw him. I walked toward him only to be stopped by two men getting off the bus and they seem like when I moved to the right they moved to the right. They needed to get out my way because he was trying to get to me. He smiled when I did get through and hugged me as tight as he could. He grabbed the bag out of my hand and we went to his car. He opened the door and put my things in the back seat. He asked if I was tired and if I still wanted to go to Wal-Mart. It was almost 1:00am and I was tired but I felt a little surge of energy come out of nowhere. We actually drove around his town for a little bit and then we went to Wal-Mart. He wanted to make sure I had everything I needed before we got back to his place. We got some breakfast food and some toiletries that I needed to get. We played around at the self checkout lane and he put me in a playful head lock but while doing so he manages to nibble on my ear. He wasn’t slick but it was cute and I was enjoying the moment. We finally where on our way to his place, which he told me would take another 25 minutes to get to. Ugh, I was ready to take a shower and go to bed. I was hoping he remembered what I told him before I got there. (To have my towel and loafer ready when I got there) We rode down this long road and he put on some music and he grabbed my hand. Yes, for the remainder of the trip we held hand up until we pulled up to his place. I was about to open my door but I saw that he was rushing over to my side to open it before I did. I waited and let him be the gentlemen that he is; I was finally being treated like I deserved to be. Let me forward this part some. We put the groceries away and he told me that my towel and loafer was waiting on me. I grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom but I needed my other bag that was in the other room. I had forgotten that I had my shirt up and my jeans where unbutton and ready to take off. He came in the bathroom behind me and he hugged me and started kissing me. He sat down on the chest drawer that was in the bathroom and pulled me over to him. He looked at me with so much hunger and desire to know what it would finally feel like to have me this close to his face. We kiss some more and he helped me get undress. I told him I was going to get in the shower and I could use some help washing my back…lol ( you get it and if you don’t than your slow…lol) We finally made it to bed and that didn’t last long because right after I got into the bed I found myself in the shower washing up one more time.
I woke up to his arms wrapped around me and a soft kiss on my neck and in between the kisses he whispered good morning. What a freaking good morning it was because I was smiling from ear to ear. Yup, I got a good morning kiss right along with some good morning loving...lol Anyway, it was early and I was up and ready to see what he had planned for us. He cooked breakfast and did some of our laundry because we made a mess on them sheets. I decided since he cooked that I would wash dishes. We finally got dressed and he told me that he wanted me to check out his barber. Guess I needed a shape up since I wasn’t able to get one last minute. I was fine with that and I let him do his thing. I pissed off at his barber because he cut too much hair off but I looked good. He couldn’t stop looking at me and called me sexy. I jokingly said to him “oh now I’m sexy” he replied “I’ve said you where, beautiful, pretty, gorgeous and this isn’t the first time I’ve called you sexy” Shut me up real quick…lol. We went to the mall and did a little shopping and ate some food. We went downtown and we walked all around arm and arm. Which I thought was very cute. I even noticed how whenever I was walking on the outside of him (meaning he would be next to the stores while I was towards the street) he would switch places and make sure I was walking on the inside. I know there’s a saying with this, it’s something where if you’re with a woman you let her walk outside of you to let men know that she’s available and if you keep her inside it means that she isn’t available… I could be wrong but I don’t think that I am. Now, please do know that my head didn’t get all big and my heart didn’t go crazy because he did this. I know my place and I’m okay with him being a respectful man it’s who he is. Okay this story could go on and on and on but I’m just going to cut to the chase. We had a great time and it has been forever since I’ve been treated as good as he treated me. It gets no better than, doors were being opened for you, my coat being put on for me, every time I got out the shower I’m being dried off. These are the times I wish this was a forever thing but I knew that the reality of it all was not that.
Now we had the infamous talk that we needed to get out the way. Where did I stand? What were his feelings about what I had previously talked about? Questions like this is what I needed answers to and he closed up on me a little but we got through it. I asked him what made him change his mind about seeing me. He said that he felt I knew what I wanted and that he was ready to see me. I only asked him this because two times prior to this that I was suppose to go see him and he changed his mind at the last minute. Yeah, I was pissed off because he was playing games and I was sure it was what he was going to do this time. Guess I was proven wrong. We basically came up to this conclusion and that is; we will continue to be friends and get to know each other, no talk about relationships and no pressure about being in one together. Some may say that I have set myself up to be hurt by allowing myself to enjoy the outer boundaries of friendship. Well I say this to you that don’t understand what it feels like to be hurt and once your past the hurt you body becomes immune to the possibilities of letting anyone back in. Now, I’m not saying that I’m immune to his actions or words because I’m not at that point yet. However, I know that I left feeling more confident that things would be okay with us now than they were before. I’m not looking for him to tell me that he loves me or that he wants a relationship. I’m good either way and my life doesn’t have to stop because I care about him. I’ll still date and enjoy my time with my other friends. That’s the reality of it all. I enjoyed living in the moment of having him all to myself for this short time and I’ll keep that memory tucked away so that I can pull it out whenever I feel like it. It’s entirely too much to write about but I’m sure I’ll write a little more here and there for you who want to know.
Until next time…
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