Making the right decision

Have you ever thought that it would be possible to fall in love with the same person twice. I struggle with the thoughts of my heart and mind.My heart wants to give it another shot but my mind is telling me to leave it alone. (follow you heart because your mind always plays tricks on you....lol)

I never in my life imagine that any feelings would emerge from a single hug. As years, months and days had gone by I admit that some time I have that nagging thought of what “IF”. Scared to even allow my heart to be hurt again. The one thing that I’ve always told myself was that I would never ever let myself get caught up in the what if’s. I have to admit that the one time out of five years of him being here I didn’t expect to such a wonderful time. There was a time at one point that I couldn’t stand the ground he walked on.Yet, today I find myself reminiscing about the good old days. I’ve learned a lot of things about myself while being here in Georgia. I’ve learned how different I am from when I first moved down here in 2006. I know what I really want in a man and don’t want. The different relationship I’ve dealt with some good and some horrible.

The first guy I ever met was a sweetheart at first. We talked every day and night. I couldn’t get enough of talking to this man. Until we met up and it all went down hill from there. He wanted to immediately be my man and I wasn’t up for it. I hadn't gotten over my daughters father at the time of moving down here. There was no way I was even thinking about starting a serious relationship. I wanted to have some fun with no strings attached.  Yes I said it no strings attached. No drama + No feelings= My happiness (at the time). However, he wanted to talk about love at first sight and how he could see himself marrying me. I reverted to my old ways and immediately put my iron wall up..lol. This dude started call all times of the night even after I told him that I couldn’t give him what he wanted. (I warned him but that didn't help he still fell hard)

He called me selfish and told me I was scared to love anyone because of my daughter’s father. (I wasn't I just wasn't ready to love again) I told him I needed time to heal and if he didn’t understand that then  he didn't need call me ever again.That didn’t even deter him away from calling me. I started to get really mean and ugly with him but that seemed to turn him on. At this point I didn’t know what to do so I ignored his calls and erased all of his messages that I was getting throughout the day.

Point is I was straight up with this guy and he didn't want to accept what I was telling him. Be upfront and tell it like it is Some will accept and some will just get there feelings hurt. But at least you can say you were upfront.

Thanks again for all ya’ll support and comments.