My Journey to Georgia Part 17

She over heard me talking to my daughters father, telling him that I was going to coming home. I needed for him to meet me at the 34th street to come pick me and the baby up. When I got off the phone, she asked me when was I plan on telling her that I was leaving. Instantly I felt a lump in my throat, and I froze up trying to figure out what I wanted to say. She said that I didn't have to explain and that she would have my Godfather bring me to the bus station. She was furious, I could tell because she didn't say anything else to me for the next couple of days. I understood that she was disappointed but I didn't know what she was so angry with my decision. I didn't ask, at this point I just wanted to get home to my own room and yes my daughters father. I missed him and I need him to be with me and my baby. I was leaving the next day and I went to say goodbye to her and she waved me off. That hurt me because I hate disappointing people but I also made choices that didn't benefits me but others. I left out and never looked back and went back home. The bus ride was the worst decision I ever made in my life. I had a newborn that needed to be feed every four hours and I was on a bus that was packed with crying kids, stinking people and no money. It was a depressing ride, but I remember this one guy in back of me heard me crying because my baby was just about out of milk, I was tired and hungry and ready to be back home. He left off the bus and when he came back on he had bought me a bottle of water and some chips. Those were the best chips and water I have ever had at that moment. That journey was one that I said I would never take again. It took me 18 hours to get from Georgia to New York. When the bus driver announce that we had arrived in NY, I just said thank you Jesus. The baby woke up right when he announced that we had arrived at our destination. She just looked up at me and I kissed her on the forehead. I got off the bus and looked around for my dad and daughters father. The same man asked was I okay and did I need any help, I told him no and I thanked him again for his kindness. In my mind I knew that God had placed me on the bus with one of his angels again. I seen my daughters father and he rushed over to us and hugged on us as tight as he could. I told him to chill he was going to squish the baby. He just kissed us and say d that he was so happy to see us. He grabbed his baby girl and threw her in the air and kissed her on the lips. One of the greatest moment for me was when she laughed and looked at him. She knew and he knew that their love would never fade no matter the distance or time. I got home and everyone was so happy to see us. I was happy to be home and being back with the one that I love.. so I thought.
 
He was over by me almost everyday, spent all the time he could with me and the baby. Something was still off he didn't seem like the same person I feel in love with. I knew the moment I had my baby and seen the way he looked at her that I was head over heels in love with this guy. However, the love he had for me changed and he had no problem telling me that he did love me but he was hurt by the way I treated prior to getting pregnant. I told him I was sorry and that I was going to make it up to him. My woman's intuitions told me different, and as much as I didn't wanted to ignore it I couldn't. I asked him was he seeing someone else and he told me no. I wished I could believe him but I couldn't.

My daughter was only nine months old and it was Christmas day. She had a cold and I knew something wasn't right with the way she was breathing. I told my mother that I felt like she was weaning. She agreed that I should take her to the hospital, before it had gotten any worse. I got to the hospital and they check her breathing and said that they wanted to give her a treatment because she was weaning. I was scared and couldn't believe that my baby could be suffering with bronchitis, her dad has asthma so she could've gotten it from him. They gave her three treatments and none of them were working. The wanted to admit her which means that they would have to give her an IV and for her to be so little, how did they expect to find her little veins. I was no good, thank God he was there with me. She was screaming and I was crying because I felt so bad I couldn't help my baby girl feel better. The stuck her once and no luck and she scream. I told them they need to get off my baby, and he tried to calm me down, After the second try I could no longer stay in the room with them. He too was getting frustrated and told them if they don't get it the third try, they were not going to stick her again. Finally they got it done and I went back in and my baby girl looked at me like Mommy why did you leave. It hurt my heart to see her in pain and all she wanted was me and couldn't find me. They kept her and brought her in to her room with some other sick little kids that were dealing with the same issue. My baby was still trying to laugh and play despite she wasn't feeling well. The only way you knew she was sick was because her beautiful eyes where now droopy. That didn't stop her from getting all the attention from everyone on the children's ward. She was only 9 months and she was not only walking but running. She would stop and say hello to everyone and then take off running. It was time for bed and I decided to stay at the hospital with her but he insisted that I go home and get some sleep and he would stay with her until morning. I had just came home from the doctor myself and I wasn't feeling good but it didn't matter because that was my baby. I went home but was right up the next morning to get her. She only stayed for two days which was a relief because I couldn't take that hospital. She was released and things seem to be getting back to normal. To be cont..