It isn't easy letting go

I know that when you need to let someone or something that it should be easy. However, I still deal with the struggle of letting go of people. It’s easier for me to let things go but to know that I may not be able to have someone in my life bothers me. I know when their season in your life is over your suppose to move on and let it be. How do you not speak to someone that you've know forever. I find that it has gotten easier for me to do the older I get but I still question why did it have to end. How about when you've loved someone for years and they say to you that their no longer in love with you and they've found love elsewhere. How can you accept that and just move on from being hurt. That's why I try not to tell people how I feel because I've been hurt not because they don't feel the same way but because they do care. 

I've recently felt this exact pain that I'm talking about. I was introduced to this guy through mutual friends and we hit off so well. The only thing was the distance between us but I didn't expect to feel as much as I did for him. He was the ideal guy for me and I took the chance on seeing what could happen between us. We talked and texted almost every day. If I didn't talk to him, I felt like my day wasn't complete. So, yes this guy had me and didn't know it. I knew I liked this guy because I even went over on my dang minutes on my phone. LOL and at .45cent a minute that is so not cool. I just sucked it up and paid the bill knowing that it was all worth every dime. We made it our business to make sure we seen each other and see where it would go. Although, I was feeling him so much I didn't realize that we never really had any disagreements. Until the moment he for no reason had an attitude with me and felt like he wanted to try me. He was picking with me and he said he wanted to see how much it would take to get me mad. I told him that was the worst thing he could ever do. We didn't talk for the whole week and he planned to come see me. I was pissed and told my cousin he could stay the hell home and not bother coming.  He came to Georgia anyway to see me and I knew that he really didn't have the time like to do it but he made it happen. I was excited and a bit nervous because I didn't know if we were going to still feel that same as we did while speaking over the phone. He arrived in town late and he didn't know if I would come out to see him. Wrong, I was so ready didn't matter what time it was that he came in. We hooked up and I knew the moment I seen him and heard his voice that I was so falling hard and fast for this guy. I needed to slow down; at first I never had any intentions falling for him as hard as I was. He came and the visit was good and bad. I was still upset with the fact that he had tried me and it was good because he took the time to come see me.

This is where it becomes a bit more painful. He left to go back home and I felt instantly that I needed and wanted more from him. I didn't know how he would take it and was afraid that my feelings will be hurt in the process. I was right because when I told him that I liked him more than I anticipated on and needed to know how he felt. His walls came instantly and he told me that he cared for me and that he didn't think he could handle being in a long distance relationship. I was instantly crushed and wanted to tell him to go screw himself. However, I tried to handle it like a trooper and told him that in order for us not to be so in tune with each other we needed to stop talking to each other every day. He agreed but I was hoping that he wouldn't and my heart sunk again. We like each other but due to the fact that well live far away we can’t be with each other because feelings may develop stronger and will or one person may get hurt... smh If you find that to be easy then good for you because guess what I still like him a whole lot. So what am I suppose to do?