Prioritize your thoughts
I was about to head to bed but of course I started thinking about my future and where I see myself in the next couple of years. My friend asked me what was new with me and told me to think really deep and at first I couldn’t come up with anything. I couldn’t think about anything new that was going on in my life. Yes, I’ve gone through heartaches, financial loss, friendship broken and lots of tears but nothing new. This is how my conversation went with my friend and it really helped me to get to the core of where my mind is right now in regards to my future.
My Response:
I told him I was thinking about getting a one bedroom apartment for me and my baby girl. This way I can save money and work on getting my credit back in order. I thought If I can find something that is reasonable than maybe I’ll just go with the two bedrooms instead of one. I thought about if I was able to manage a fulltime schedule with school, work and raising a teenage daughter and still have time for myself. I also thought about being single and making the right decision when someone does come along and wants to be a part of my life. Will I be able to give all of myself without restrictions? I’m not getting any younger and I want to love again, cater to my man (who’d eventually be my husband) and give him all the good loving a real woman should do to make him happy. It’s simple as this, I want to enjoy life and not feel like every day of my life I’m just going to deal with obstacles and struggles
His reply was:
Okay and I want you to enjoy your life so my thought about what you said is this… What will give you the best opportunity to be successful? Sacrifices, hills and obstacles will continue but because your strong will you can overcome that and then again you don’t want to keep going through the same vicious cycle. As for school go part time, and for the bedroom; go with 2 bedrooms because in order to enjoy yourself while being single you still need your space. As far as a man and you giving yourself wholeheartedly is also something that’s left up to chance.. For example he has to be flexible when need be, he has to be able to adapt and adjust, he has to be open minded as well and most importantly he has to be a friend first. You have to build your relationship on rock and not sand. So I say all of this to say, try not to think so much that you use all your brain cells for we sometimes over thing and over analyze things and not live life stress free taking each day for granted. God has our back and I know he don’t want us to not have faith…
I couldn’t have said that any better if I haven’t thought these things myself…lol. He just helped clear the thoughts in my mind that I already knew. My point in writing this was to say that we all tend to over think about where our lives should be instead of where it is right now. (And what we are doing to make it better) Granted we all would love to be living our ideal lives right now but if it was that easy then what life lesson would you really have. My life hasn’t been the easiest but I’m positive someone else life has been far more hectic then mine was and is right now. However this is my journey and I’m learning every day that when one hurdle presents itself prepare for the next one because there is another one sure to follow…
Until next time…
Let me give you something to laugh about real quick… so while I’m texting the friend I mentioned above I had another guy text me. He asked me what I was doing tomorrow (so my thoughts maybe he wants to take me out) so I told him that I was doing absolutely nothing. He said he had to ask me something and that it might sound crazy. My response was “oh gosh, what?” He said never mind (I should’ve let him kept it to himself) I told him I was joking and that he could ask me. He said that he was going out with this pretty young woman but that the woman actually liked woman and told him if he could find another woman she would give him his three some that he fantasized about. He said I was the only person that came to mind when he thought about any other woman he wanted to sleep with. I was in total disbelief and before I responded I had to make sure that I chose my words wisely so that I wouldn’t offend him. I told him that even if I wanted to take him up on his opportunity I couldn’t because it wasn’t a good time (cycle, ugh… tmi but whatever…Lol) I told him even if I wanted to have a threesome I would want to experience it with my man. Told him I hope he enjoyed his time with the girl and to have a goodnight. He replied: he was embarrassed and that he was sorry. I told him it was no need to be embarrassed and that I didn’t look at him any differently. My thoughts on this was he never even had sex with me and even if I wanted to have that experience why would he not want to experience me by myself; yet alone me with another woman. Shoot, what if she gives me the business and I don’t want him to touch me at all…Iol I’m just saying think what you want... I’m not ashamed of what I like and know how it feels to be pleased by both sexes… (Okay, close your mouth and let’s move on…lol)
My Response:
I told him I was thinking about getting a one bedroom apartment for me and my baby girl. This way I can save money and work on getting my credit back in order. I thought If I can find something that is reasonable than maybe I’ll just go with the two bedrooms instead of one. I thought about if I was able to manage a fulltime schedule with school, work and raising a teenage daughter and still have time for myself. I also thought about being single and making the right decision when someone does come along and wants to be a part of my life. Will I be able to give all of myself without restrictions? I’m not getting any younger and I want to love again, cater to my man (who’d eventually be my husband) and give him all the good loving a real woman should do to make him happy. It’s simple as this, I want to enjoy life and not feel like every day of my life I’m just going to deal with obstacles and struggles
His reply was:
Okay and I want you to enjoy your life so my thought about what you said is this… What will give you the best opportunity to be successful? Sacrifices, hills and obstacles will continue but because your strong will you can overcome that and then again you don’t want to keep going through the same vicious cycle. As for school go part time, and for the bedroom; go with 2 bedrooms because in order to enjoy yourself while being single you still need your space. As far as a man and you giving yourself wholeheartedly is also something that’s left up to chance.. For example he has to be flexible when need be, he has to be able to adapt and adjust, he has to be open minded as well and most importantly he has to be a friend first. You have to build your relationship on rock and not sand. So I say all of this to say, try not to think so much that you use all your brain cells for we sometimes over thing and over analyze things and not live life stress free taking each day for granted. God has our back and I know he don’t want us to not have faith…
I couldn’t have said that any better if I haven’t thought these things myself…lol. He just helped clear the thoughts in my mind that I already knew. My point in writing this was to say that we all tend to over think about where our lives should be instead of where it is right now. (And what we are doing to make it better) Granted we all would love to be living our ideal lives right now but if it was that easy then what life lesson would you really have. My life hasn’t been the easiest but I’m positive someone else life has been far more hectic then mine was and is right now. However this is my journey and I’m learning every day that when one hurdle presents itself prepare for the next one because there is another one sure to follow…
Until next time…
Let me give you something to laugh about real quick… so while I’m texting the friend I mentioned above I had another guy text me. He asked me what I was doing tomorrow (so my thoughts maybe he wants to take me out) so I told him that I was doing absolutely nothing. He said he had to ask me something and that it might sound crazy. My response was “oh gosh, what?” He said never mind (I should’ve let him kept it to himself) I told him I was joking and that he could ask me. He said that he was going out with this pretty young woman but that the woman actually liked woman and told him if he could find another woman she would give him his three some that he fantasized about. He said I was the only person that came to mind when he thought about any other woman he wanted to sleep with. I was in total disbelief and before I responded I had to make sure that I chose my words wisely so that I wouldn’t offend him. I told him that even if I wanted to take him up on his opportunity I couldn’t because it wasn’t a good time (cycle, ugh… tmi but whatever…Lol) I told him even if I wanted to have a threesome I would want to experience it with my man. Told him I hope he enjoyed his time with the girl and to have a goodnight. He replied: he was embarrassed and that he was sorry. I told him it was no need to be embarrassed and that I didn’t look at him any differently. My thoughts on this was he never even had sex with me and even if I wanted to have that experience why would he not want to experience me by myself; yet alone me with another woman. Shoot, what if she gives me the business and I don’t want him to touch me at all…Iol I’m just saying think what you want... I’m not ashamed of what I like and know how it feels to be pleased by both sexes… (Okay, close your mouth and let’s move on…lol)
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