Family Means Everything!!

Its been a minute since I've written anything again. A lot has been going on and my mind has not been on writing anything new. However I am going to change some things up a little and start writing about whats
currently been going on in my life. I will continue with the story on my journey to Georgia but also I just feel a need to write on some current events. I do want to thank everyone that has been reading my post and following me as well. I appreciate your comments and support.

For the last  30 days I’ve been trying to follow through with lent. Lent is suppose to last until Easter or you can do the whole month of April. I started off great for the first 2 weeks of doing lent. I gave up cheese, junk food and juices. Giving up cheese is a huge thing for me since I can put it on just about anything and that even includes soup..lol. Anyway the first week was so fulfilling and things were going good for me. I was reading my daily word, waking up for daily prayer and night time prayer. I was praying for guidance in my decision to move back to New York.  I first was trying to see what everyone thought about me moving back to New York or closer up north and everyone said the same thing. “I thought you were happy in Georgia”. I never said I was unhappy being in GA, I just want to be happier around my family. I love Georgia but its not home. When I first moved here it was definitely to get away from him and my family. I needed to be able to be independent and living home with my parents didn’t give me independence. Anyway, I wont go to much into detail about that story because the original blog is about my journey to GA. The second week I was going through something because I had a break through about my decision. It was very clear and apparent that my decision to go closer to home is the right decision. My sister’s will be graduating next year and the purpose of me actually staying as long as I have is for them to finish high school here. I have wanted to leave Georgia for past couple of years but  for the sake of my sisters education. I’ve always put my happiness and sacrifice a lot things for other people. I feel now is the time to make ME happy. I don’t ever do anything to receive a thing but in this case I believe I given everything in me to make them happy and successfully finishing school. One of my sisters just started college this year which is great for her and I’m very proud of her. The twins are trying to get the license so they can get a car for college. My daughter wasn’t to excited about the move at first. She has now warmed up to the idea of being closer to her dad and family.
                                             

                                                                (R.I.P I love you dearly)

My cousin passing away this year has really put a lot of things into perspective for me. I am all about family and being around them is very important to me. The last time I spoke to my cousin which was  two days before he passed away and he could barely talk. I was devastated because the last word he said to me was that he couldn’t talk right now. I felt it in my heart that very day in the mall when I was speaking to him that it was the last time that I would ever hear his voice again. I was stuck right there in the middle of the mall with the phone to my ear speechless and hurt because he couldn’t speak to me. My cousin was on the other end of the phone calling my name and I had to snap out of it. He told me that  our cousin didn’t look good and he didn’t think that he would make it. He told me that my cousin said to him that he was tired and could do this anymore. (which means he’s didn’t want to fight anymore) This was one of my best cousins and I was stuck all the way in GA. That night after speaking to my aunt and his finance about his condition all I could do was think was he was going to die and there was nothing I could do to get there before he does. I went to sleep that night with a heavy heart that night but funny enough he was not the last person I was thinking about before I feel asleep. I dreamed about him dying that night and he came to me in my dreams and told me not to worry because he was okay. In my dream I kept looking for him and the nurses kept giving me the wrong room numbers. I was so upset and crying until I found his room but it was to late he had passed away. I just look with disbelief and to the right of me I looked over and he was there standing with me looking at his own body. I wasn't scared but more hurt than anything and woke up right after with tears in my eyes. I talked to my aunt the very next day and she sounded a lot better and more hopeful of his recovery. I wasn't going to share with her the dream that I had the night before because it would’ve made her sad. The doctor’s told my aunt that they were trying to make him comfortable and that there was nothing else they could do for him. To make a long story short my cousin passed away a day later and I was crushed but not really surprised because of the dream I had previously. My last words to my cousin was I love you and miss you. I cried a little when I heard he passed and everyone else was a complete mess. I will never forget when another one of my best male cousins called me crying. I didn't  know what to say or do because I’ve never heard him cry like that before.However, on my way to NY I was tried by the devil. The battery on my car had died before we were leaving. One mechanic told me that it was my starter but another one came right over jumped my battery and told me that I would be fine. All I could do was thank God because there was no way I was going to miss his funeral. Then when we did get on the rode it was raining and we drove through a blizzard and was slipping on the roads and stuff it was a mess. I finally got to NY and made sure everyone had a ride to my cousins funeral. However, I got to the funeral at the last minute when they were showing the final viewing of his body (again sacrificing for others to get there)and my mom was calling me to hurry up. I got there and they were calling the family up to see him. I was the first person to go up and was in total shock because the person that laid in that casket didn’t look like my sexy cousin at all. I stood there for what seemed like forever. It wasn’t until my sister told me to come on that I realized that people were also trying to view his body. I went to sit down but couldn’t and ran out the church and I cried and yelled out for my cousin because I knew he was gone but didn’t want to believe it. My cousin was gone and I wasn't around to say goodbye. Family means everything to me and being closer to them is very important.