Releasing some frustration

I’ve been trying to get my mind right since I broke up with my girlfriend.  Things haven’t been the same and I’ve been trying to put it behind me, but I’m learning that I have to face this head on. If I feel like crying, screaming, laughing or even writing then it’s what I will do.  A break up is never easy especially if you try to break up on good terms, but the other person feels different. I was once told that I am not responsible for other people’s happiness and that is the truth. I am only responsible for my happiness; however, I can’t help but think how she is holding up. It hasn’t been long, but it hurts like hell when at one point you saw forever with the person you once loved.  How can you move past it without constantly thinking about the other person it? I have to is what I tell me myself. I still have to live my life (but it hurts so badly).

I feel like there are few people who are placed in your life for a lifetime, but there are also people that come in your life for a lesson.  (Those are the seasonal folks) Now, it’s up to you to figure out why this person has crossed paths with you. It always seems like we make the wrong decisions because we have our own insecurities which make our choices questionable. Have you ever met someone who you’ve bent over backwards for and they never seem to be grateful or appreciative of what you do for them? Yet, you don’t see that this person has his/her own interest at heart. They don’t concern themselves with your feelings and the moment you tell them you’re not going to help them; it becomes an issue. Why does it become an issue because you let them use you and you didn’t put a stop to it? When someone has your best interest at heart they are not there to save you but help you move along in life. We have those people in our life that have an ulterior motive behind helping, I call those people seasonal and they need to be removed from our lives. Why is okay for someone to want to help you but they are not helping from the heart but for their own selfish purpose.

I’m going to go off topic just a bit because there is something that has settled in my heart to write.

I know there are people who are so damaged that they allow people in their lives without fully getting to know a person. They are so used to dealing with bad relationships; that they have a hard time realizing when they have a good thing in front of them. They always look for something bad to happen and they try to be one step ahead of you to end it before you do. Now, I’m not saying that you want to end it but to prevent them from being hurt them purposely cause friction in the relationship.  They seem confused because they are so used to someone saving them and you’re just trying to help.  They want you to save them from taking on the responsibility of being an adult and going through rough patches. Little do they know those rough patches will help build them to be stronger? Why would you give someone the power to control your every movement? Why not see that the person for whom he/she is? I know that from experience once a person has mind control over you; it’s hard to think for yourself without the approval of that other person. Who wants to live like that? You know what comes from a relationship like that; abuse, violence, and NO RESPECT!  If a person put their hands on me it would not be a question if I still love them. It would be a question of how bad I’m going to whoop their ass. I just find it really sad that people have low self-esteem and they allow other people to have control. I don’t ever want to control anyone, I want us to be equal partners and I would want us to be able to talk to get through our problems. Violence is never the answer and I don’t condone it at all.

To keep it simple and to the point; Just because someone tells you that they have your best interest at heart doesn’t mean they do. Not everyone is supposed to be in your life. I will definitely write more on this topic, but today has been a rough day for me. From dealing with a breakup and trying to be a friend and getting slapped in the face. (not literally) I’m exhausted and ready to finish cooking dinner which, by the way, is going to be fabulous..lol Until next time!