Jays Journey!

This post may offend some and it may not but if you know like I know that the first line already warns you. So take heed to the warning!!! The topic is about being unsatisfied in a relationship; mentally, physically, sexually but mostly emotionally.  I often question myself when it comes to making sure that I am satisfying my partner. I always feel like I do a good job in all areas of the relationship but that all changes when you’re told otherwise. It blew my mind to think that I’m doing pretty good only to be shot down and told to try again. Me, try again, Huh. This is not happening and I know that it hasn’t happened before.  However, I guess even the most confident person can be shot down and told that something’s isn't working. Some things like what you may be thinking because I was thinking the same thing when I was told I wasn’t. I will go through each word that I mentioned previously before. Mentally : I always feel that you have to be on the same page men...

Today was a rough day for me at work, I had so much mail and packages that I wanted to get sick and go home. I fought through it and made it back safe and sound. I had to keep a positive outlook on things to push through.  I find that with my profession it isn’t always easy to keep a positive attitude. You have to deal with so many different personalities, job duties, and pressure from management. I’m learning that even though I want to complain about all the extra things I’m asked to do, I can’t complain because I’m blessed to have a job that provides for me and my family. I have gone through so many different adversities in my life and it has only made me the strong woman that I am today. I feel like some people attract problems into their own lives. You want to be successful but you’re always complaining about your job, finances, and the relationships you have built. What have you changed within yourself to become successful in your career? Have you gone back to sch...

Guess who finally has a day off, ME! Work is kicking my butt but I’m not complaining. I have a job that provides for me and my family, so for that I am grateful. However there is this one topic that I have to write about because it’s been on my mind for a while now. Love or Lust; what’s the difference, and how do we separate them.  I’ve experienced both love and lust but I knew that it wasn’t the same. However I don’t believe some get that there’s a difference.  Do I think that you can lust over someone and have real feelings, yes I absolutely do. However that doesn’t make you love the person. It just makes you have feelings for that person.  I’ve been in a situation where I developed a friendship and it was a great but the person started to tell me that they love me. I was blown away because in such a short amount of time they felt that it was love that they were feeling. How is it possible to love a person that you barely know? Don’t get me wrong, I honestly believ...

I woke up this morning feeling this pain of lost. I got up like normal and cooked myself some breakfast and got ready for work. I turned on the radio and I was listening to Joel Osteen as I do most of the time while driving to work. He was talking about people being placed into other people’s lives to help them. He was spot on with what he was talking about because I was just having the same exact conversation with a co-worker. I always felt that I was bought into this world to help people heal from my words. In hearing this it made me think about my mother because she had the biggest heart when it came to helping others. She would clothe, feed and even give them a place to rest their heads. I remember growing up and most of my older cousins had lived with us. Mind you my mom had six children in a three bedroom apartment but that didn’t matter they needed help and she helped them. I know that I am the replica of my mother and my heart is big because of her. This gift that I have...

I’m up and can’t sleep and I thought what a better way to kill time other than to do what I love best. I’ve been going through a rough time dealing with the lost of my mom and a relationship that I’m trying to fix.  I’m realizing that I have lost a lot of people that I love due to death and growth. What I mean by growth is that my perspective on life has changed every since my mother passed away. I value my life and my time but notice that as time has gone by people have strayed away or I’ve stayed away from them.  Maybe it was their time to go and as hard it can be to lose someone that you love; you have to let go sometimes. I’m not talking about recent relationships; I’m talking about relationships that were built from a child. I’m talking about people who looked me in the face and said that they loved me and that they would always be there for me. Whelp, that isn’t the case and as much as I want to reach out and ask what went wrong; I rather let it go and move past it. I b...