Jays Journey!

I was up at 2:30 am this writing this. I laid in bed and started thinking about writing a post. I didn’t know if I wanted to just continue with my journey which isn't hard to write about since it’s my past. However I couldn’t help but think about my struggle with being single. The thoughts started clouding my mind and it literally forced me out of bed and I immediately started writing. I’ve always wonder what my purpose in life is. This is a question that has been bothering me forever. There are many talents that I’ve been blessed such as writing, cooking, and being a role model. The one talent  that God has called me to do I struggle with because I’m unsure  that my purpose is to much for me and that’s why I’m at a standstill in my life. Writing is my outlet to life and it helps people understand me better. Being a role model is something that makes me feel really good to know that I have touched their lives in some way or another. I just don’t want to feel like my life is slip

He didn’t seem like he wanted to leave even though I was being so mean to him. It was like I couldn’t help myself and being mean was my way of showing that I cared. That night when he left I made the decision to call it quits. I no longer wanted to be bother by the man who only loved and cared about me. (just silly) I called him that night and told him that we needed to talk the next time he came over. He insisted that I tell him what I needed to tell him right then. He asked if I was trying to break up with him and I lied and told him no. I didn’t want to say it over the phone that I didn’t want to be with him. He then told me that he was coming back over so that I could tell him what I needed to. I told him not to come and when we  get up over the weekend I would let him know. I had it all planned out that night. I wrote him a nice letter explaining why we couldn’t continue with  the relationship. I explained to him about how my dad hurt me and trusting men was very hard for me. I

Its been a minute since I've written anything again. A lot has been going on and my mind has not been on writing anything new. However I am going to change some things up a little and start writing about whats currently been going on in my life. I will continue with the story on my journey to Georgia but also I just feel a need to write on some current events. I do want to thank everyone that has been reading my post and following me as well. I appreciate your comments and support. For the last  30 days I’ve been trying to follow through with lent. Lent is suppose to last until Easter or you can do the whole month of April. I started off great for the first 2 weeks of doing lent. I gave up cheese, junk food and juices. Giving up cheese is a huge thing for me since I can put it on just about anything and that even includes soup..lol. Anyway the first week was so fulfilling and things were going good for me. I was reading my daily word, waking up for daily prayer and night time pr

We seen each other almost everyday after he came and met my family. If we weren't together physically, then we spent the entire night talking on the phone. He started to fall for me really hard and I didn’t know how to deal that. I was at a point in my life where I didn’t know how to except someone who wanted all of me. I liked him but I had a wall built up that was no easy task breaking down. Let me just give you a little history on why I was trying so hard not to let anyone get so close to me. You would better understand throughout my entries why I was so hard and mean to those that wanted to love me. (particularly men) My father was a huge part as to why I didn’t trust men. I mention in the first entry that my dad  went to jail when I was just a toddler. My mom actually took me to go see him while he was in jail. She said that it was hard for her to deal with the jail system and didn’t want me to have to deal with seeing him like that. Of course I don’t remember  any of it and

I smiled at him and told him to come on. No I didn’t give him a hug but believe me I wanted to but I didn’t want him to think I missed him or anything (remember I was terrible at showing affection). I did miss him and wanted to jump on him when I seen him. My sister looked at me then him and just smiled. I remember her asking me why was I hiding him from everyone. I just told her that he was not my man but merely a friend. I looked back at him again and my stomach was in knots and doing summersaults. We walked from the train station and he said he was hungry. This is when I found out that for a slim dude he could eat a dang house…lol  The closest place I could think of was white castle and that’s only because we had to pass it to go back to my mother’s place. We stopped in and he got something to eat. He order 6 cheeseburger, fries, 3 chicken sandwiches. He didn’t order a drink but wanted to get it from the corner store by my house.                                          (corner s

This week has been an off week for me. I know I haven't written anything recently and its sucks. As a writer sometimes it comes and it goes. However I do have another story about a dude I met while being here in Georgia. It was my birthday and my home girl wanted to take me out to eat. She knew that I love to eat seafood so she suggest Red Lobster. You cant go wrong there especially with their cheese biscuits. We were sitting down clowning on some silly guys that just walked by us. She brought me a card and some flowers that wre really cute. Our waiter came and he was a character. He made us laugh and he didn’t look bad either. He was from Chicago so it was a breath of fresh air from the Georgia men that I was meeting. I was thinking to myself a dude from up north and he had a little swag. I order a pina colada with some shrimp alfredo and a side of extra biscuits. I was being a little flirtatious and my friend dared me to sweet talk him and get his number. I love challenges and i