My Life turned upside down in less than year

Wow it’s been so long since I’ve even attempted to write anything. However this entry will be very personal and I’m putting my heart and soul into it.

2012 was a year that I will never forget in my life. It’s the year I had to say goodbye to my home, my friends and my best friend (my mommy). I moved back to New York because I felt the need to be closer to my family. I knew that for some reason this year was so much different than the years I wanted to move back home. I always called my mom when I was ready to come home and she always told me pray and ask God to give you strength. She told me how proud of me she was and didn’t want me to come back to New York to fail. I agreed and told her she was the best because I knew she was my number one supporter of the decisions I made in my life. However, this time when I called her crying and telling her that I want to come back, not knowing that it was the best decision she could’ve helped me with ever. She didn’t hesitate to tell me to come on home and that she would do whatever it took to help me during my time of unemployment to pay my bills. I was more than excited and knew that she was so excited for us to come home. I put in my two week notice and I let my friends know that I was leaving but I would never forget them. My best friend tried to be strong but I know that it killed her as much as it did me. I wasn’t going to be there for my Goddaughter’s first days of school, plays, dances, etc... That broke me up inside but I had to follow my heart and since I prayed about it and God seen fit to have everything fall into place. I couldn’t question that nor could I deny the joy it would bring to my mommy.

Let me go back to the last week in Georgia, my daughter graduated from Peachtree Elementary and my twin sisters graduated from Norcross High School. I swear I couldn't have been more proud of them the day they walked across the arena floor. My parents of course came down to see them on their big day. I think this was the happiest I’ve seen my mom. I guess just knowing that her girls where moving back and that they were graduating from high school. My best friend and I made plans for my parents to go out to a very exquisite restaurant called Flemings. My mom is not big on going out to eat but I was hoping that she enjoyed herself. To make a long story short she went to her favorite store Ross and got an outfit and she was all done up. She came back with the biggest smile and couldn’t stop talking about how she ate her dinner (which she never does in fear of having to go to the restroom. she would kill me if she was alive and able to read what I wrote...lol) and had dessert afterwards. She said she couldn’t wait to go back whenever she came back down to Georgia. Her smile was priceless and I was glad I could give her that experience. The girls graduated and it was time for us to get on the road. I told my friends that I didn’t want to see them the day of the move (in fear of my crying) because I knew they would cry. Did they listen of course they didn’t but it was okay because no tears were shed. Well at least not in front of me. Remembering the last moments at the house, I looked around and went into each room and took a deep breath because I knew that this was going to be the last time I would ever live there. I shook it off and went and locked my door for the last time. We all piled up in the cars and moving truck.  We said our goodbyes and we were on the road to New York.

I arrived to New York on May 23, 2012, thanks to my daughters’ father and cousins who came down to help with the move. I was exhausted and ready to just climb in my bed which was unfortunately the last thing to be unloaded from the truck..Ugh. I had to come and clean where my space now was a small room that I would have to share with my daughter until I found a place to live. I started to have second thoughts immediately but I knew it was no turning back now. I had to suck it up and move on even though I knew I started missing Georgia and my friends. There were lots of arguments and lots of laughs. I had enough money to help me pay my bills for the next couple of months. I felt myself getting depressed and I needed to find a job a.s.a.p... Luckily when I got here the post office was hiring and my uncle told me to apply. I forgot that I’d applied until I got an email telling me that the position was being offended to me. I was like God was watching over me because another month and I would’ve packed my bags and went back to GA. I didn’t start until September and I had the best shift there, so I was a very happy camper.  My daughter was not happy and it made me sad that she wanted to go back home. That broke my heart and I started questioning myself again. Had I made the wrong decision for us. There were days I would come home and just bawl with the hopes that no one heard my cries. My feelings where way to sensitive and I didn’t understand why. My daughters father wasn’t any help either, I mean you would think with her being right here he would spend more time with her. That wasn’t the case and it didn’t help with the situation with her wanting to be here. I did get to spend thanksgiving with my mom and she enjoyed that the girls where here to help her cook. However I wasn't lifting a finger unless it was for me to put the folk in my mouth.  To be continued.

P.S. It’s a lot to write and I’ll have to break it up so that it won't seem like I writing a book even though I have.