Online Dating "Do's and Don't"

I’m learning more and more about the people I attract in my life and why I attract them in my life. The last two years I’ve come across some really good and bad people but I always wonder their purpose.  My decision to move back to Georgia from NY was because I didn’t feel I was at home and my mom was gone. My purpose was served for the time I spent home in NY the moment my mother was placed on the ground.  I was unhappy and I needed to find the serenity that I had when I move to Georgia the first time. Once I got back I had to start building my life all over again, that meant I had to find a job, new acquaintances etc. Since I didn’t really get out much because the lack of being motivated and unemployed I turned to social networking.  You can really narrow down who you want to talk to, meet up with or build something with. Well, my experiences have been good and bad.  I will give you a few experiences I’ve had and are still having.  Many are ashamed that they have met people offline, I actually don’t mind as long as you’re careful of the people you choose to meet.  Believe me, anyone can show you a different side of them whether you met them online or in the street.

Guy #1

He was a single dad of two children and he owned his own trucking company. He was a nice guy and we started out chatting over the net a whole lot that was until he asked for my number. I didn’t have an issue with that since I was interested in getting to know him. We talked almost every day and we had so much to talk about since we both had teenage daughters and being single parents. I was shocked that he was single and raising his children on his own. Now here’s where the mess unfolded with his story. I felt we both have parental skills and work ethics. However, there was one thing we didn’t agree on and that was taking care of the absent parent because he was afraid that she would leave. Yes, leave the state and not think about her children. First, what type of mother doesn’t want to be with their children and watch them grow up? Well, he took care of all her needs right down to buying a house and letting her live in it.  They weren’t married and he wasn’t interested in being with her. At first, I didn’t think the story added up because he said she watched the children when he needed her. He said he wasn’t going to stop taking care of her and asked if I thought a woman would be okay with this. I just simply wrote him out my book and told him, Good luck on his journey because no woman in her right mind would ever allow a man to be so stupid. Yes, I said it STUPID!! She should’ve gotten a job and took care of herself and children. No respect for him or her.  What kinds of example are teaching your children by allowing someone to walk all over you, and allowing them not to take care of their own responsibilities?  I learned absolutely nothing from him being in my life except him taking time away from me meeting someone other than him.

Guy #2

He was the perfect gentleman and we vibe so well that I just knew that I was going to eventually start a relationship with him.  Well, like I said it started out good and we eventually met up and I lost some physical attraction to him once we met. He was very handsome but it was just something in me that was clicking with him. We talked every night and he was a very good listener and he also appreciated my writing. However, he started to fall for me and I was not on the same page as him. We fell off and I stopped talking to him. He called me about five months later only to tell me that he found out that he was going to be a dad. He wasn’t sure it was his or not but wanted to know if I could ever be with a guy who has a baby on the way. I told him that I was not the one for him and I wasn’t judgmental about his situation. “It was just simply as you stopped talking to me for five months and now you realize I’m a good woman. I can’t take on anyone else responsibilities other than my own”. That is what I said to him and he said he understood.  Until one day recently he called me to tell me that he wanted to make love to me. I was shocked and told him that it was no way possible for him to feel that way. We never had sex and the only kiss he got was a peck. I tried to understand what I did wrong but could find nothing. I was just being me.

Girl #1

This was right after my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. This female had every tendency of a male species..lol I swear we connected in such a good way. She was a mother of a beautiful baby boy who she was co-parenting with her ex-girlfriend. I was opened and I had every intention of getting to know her on every level possible. She was very pleasant to talk to and I spoke to her every single day and night. It wasn’t until I met her that I found out that she was this arrogant female who thought she was dealing with a punk. I say that because she was very rough and demanding. If she didn’t like something I said or did it was an issue that could’ve easily been resolved. Leave it to her we had a two-hour conversation about it. We had a fallen out once and we made up, that was until she told me that she had slept with some other chick she had met online. She knew my terms of us getting to know each other. If she wanted to be with anyone else sexually than we couldn’t be with each other in any other way accept friends. I was hurt and I knew that I was way more invested than anticipated.  I couldn’t deal and as much as l liked her I couldn’t get past the roughness or the fact that she had slept with someone else.

There have been more  but with each, I found out that I was there for them emotionally and physically but easily fell out of like with them. Some became obsessed, arrogant, annoying or they just stop calling. I‘m saying this because I realize that with each situation I have had the result was always ended the same. I started building a wall and every time I took one brick one off and they tried to get close; I would put three more in place of the one that was gone. I wasn’t ready to allow myself to fall into a place of vulnerability.  Although, each experience that I spoke about the person had something going on in their personal life but they also showed me a differently in person. I could have given it a chance if I allowed myself to be open to the opportunity but I found it hard to do that. I still keep contact with some that I’ve talked to and we've become really good friends. They are there for me in a way they couldn’t be while trying to be with me. Their purpose wasn’t to be with me but to be there for me as I am for them.  I do have one interesting one that I must say is the most bizarre of them all. I will have to share that another time but man all I can say is she has been  that one…..lol  (was that one)