Making Moves!!

Today was a rough day at work, I had a good night and I had hoped that it would’ve rolled over to today. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case and I lost it.  I had a lot to do at work today and I felt like I was going to never finish. After finally getting back to the office, I had a breakdown and I cried because I don’t feel like this is it for me. You ever think to yourself “this can’t be all that life has to offer me” well that was the exact thought I was having when the tears starting falling. However, I thought to myself “is this all that I’m offering myself”.  I knew that I had to pray today as I do every day.  As I was delivering the mail; Tasha Cobb song kept playing in my head and all I could do was sing. The song was For you Glory, and it was one part that kept making me tear up; “Lord if I find favor in your sight, lord please hear my hearts cry, I’ll cross the hottest desert to be where you are”. The word stuck with me because I had to ask god to guide me and move me to the next step in my life. I don’t know if I’m ready in his sight, but I pray that I am so that I can find peace.

I’m always learning that people are brought in and out of your life for a period of time. However, we all know it can be for a season, a minute or a lifetime. My question is why we allow the people that have been taken out of our lives to come back. I feel that we get caught up in our feelings that we often forget why they were taken out of our lives. Whether you were friends, lovers, coworker etc, it doesn’t matter especially when you allow them to back in your life and you find yourself asking is it worth it? You can easily get distracted by your heart and in that time you can lose perspective on what you have going on in your life. I’m not saying that sometimes people are taken out of your life can’t ever be brought back. I’m saying if the person that has suddenly popped back up in your life is already distracting you, then you may need to let that go!  No one should be able to come into your life and shake it up.  Some folks are trifling and will try and come back into your life when their lives are a mess. You have to make a decision and although your heart may be saying let them stay. What does mind say when you are trying to get things right and you are all of sudden unsure of your own decisions? The saying keeps friends close but your enemies closer. Why would anyone want to give time and energy to someone you can’t trust, love or dislike? You can be using that time and energy on yourself to help you grow.  This way when someone tries to ease their way back into your life, you are already wise enough to know that you have may or may not have any room for them in your life. In some cases, you may have been the cause of why there no longer in your life. Now in this scenario you have to still think back on why you choose them not to be a part of your life. If those reason where purely selfish on your end then you may need to acknowledge your wrongs doing and apologize. Consequently, they may not feel you’re a person they can have in their lives. You can only respect their decision and learn from it.

During our roughest times, we all pray to whomever it is that we believe in for guidance. We ask that we are put in a place where we can be at peace and happy. My question to myself today was; In order for me to find the peace I need to be happy within in myself. I feel that nothing in my life is a coincidence and that everything that happens; happens for a reason. Now it’s not my job to find every reason why things happen. It’s not and I would eventually go crazy trying to find out. However, I feel that in time reasoning are revealed later on in life and sometimes right away.  We often have that Oh, that’s why moment and at that moment is when you should know that things are ok! I believe we are put in places where we need to be in life so that we can be ready for whatever happens next. Even if it’s a job that you may hate, or love, I know and feel that God is preparing me for my next phase. Working at a job like mine requires a lot of your time, energy, and life. We all say we don’t have a life, but there are things we can do to make changes. Money is not always everything and I am definitely realizing that. Money cannot buy happiness, so why stay at a place where you’re unhappy? You stay for the money and yet you’re unhappy. I have to remember that when you pray for things or situations, be specific in knowing exactly what you want. You expect to pray for an increase and find yourself working 50+ hours and ask God why you have to deal with all of this to get more money. Your prayers should have been more like “lord I am asking that you provide me with a new job with a better income, benefits and more.  Praying without being specific was something I was always doing. I’ve learned as I go through all of the deaths, lies, mistreatments that I’ve in countered that when I pray I have to be specific. Whether it’s for the strength to endure the pain I feel as I miss mother, or the wisdom to make the right decisions for me and my daughter’s life.  We all know that God knows our wants and needs but if you ask not then you will not receive. However, just because you ask doesn’t mean that God will give you what ask. If it’s not something that’s good for you then he won’t provide it. Don’t blame God for your misfortunes, sickness, unemployment etc, He gives you the tools and it’s our job to use them so that we can be blessed to have all those things that are good that we desire of hearts. This is one of my favorite scriptures

Matthew 7:7
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Don’t close those opportunities on yourself.  Start doing something about it and if removing people out of your life is the first thing you need to do then do it with NO REGRETS!!!!