My Journey to Georgia. Part 14

He walked away and I knew that I really hurt him in away that I couldn’t take back. I wasn’t sorry I just wanted my life back they way it was before I got with him. I wasn’t involved with anyone but I wasn’t feeling all these emotions that I never felt before either. Days went by and he didn’t call and I didn’t call him either. I had decided that I wanted to get a break from New York and decide to go visit my family in Palm Bay, Florida from my father side. I wasn’t going to tell him that I was going to leave but I did anyway. I left the following week to Florida my grandmother paid for the trip and booked my ticket for 3 weeks. I got there and for the first few days I was excited because it had been years since I’d seen my family. The last time I had seen my cousins I was 10 and here I am now 21 and pregnant. They were excited when I got there and I was looking forward to my grandmothers carrot juice and Jamaican food. I was there for almost a 1 1/2 weeks and it was like I was trying to play catch up with the things I missed out on with my family. Shortly after being there I became depressed  and wanted to go home. I didn’t understand what was going on with me because the reason I left for New York was to get away for awhile and figure something's out about our relationship. I was calling him non stop and he answered my calls but not as often as I’d liked him to. We talked about how I was treating him and I apologized to him and told him that I would try to be a better person. ( I believe that was my hormones talking) He asked if I was ready to be a mother and I told him at that point I really didn’t have a choice in the matter. I asked him to buy me some construction timberland boots and I wanted them when I got back. I had only wanted them because he had gotten a new pair before I left for Florida. I was sick and vomiting everyday while at my aunts. I was crying every other day because I missed him and wanted him so bad. I knew what I needed to do and that was to change my ticket early so that I could go home and be with him. The short time that I was away from him was killing me and I was ready to make it work for the sake of my baby growing inside me. It took me sometime to change my ticket with spirit airlines but I finally made it home.

I flew into LaGuardia airport and caught a yellow taxi home. When I got there he was sitting on the bench waiting for me. I couldn’t have been more excited to see him then the day I first met him in the stadium. I tried to hide my expression by not smiling but as soon I got closer to him I gave him a big kiss right in front of everyone. We went upstairs and we just sat there without a word being said. He just laid on my belly and started talking to our unborn child. I never knew what he would talk about but I did feel the connection between the both of them. Anytime he spoke to my belly I felt flutters all around. I predicted that it was going to be a girl and he wanted a little boy. Things seem to be sweet and I was falling hard for him now that I was pregnant. However I started seeing the changes in him right away. He wasn’t as attentive, loving as he had always been in the past.  I needed him more now then before because I couldn’t eat or drink anything because they baby was making me sick.  He went to all the appointments the he actually woke up on time for. I started already feeling like I was going to be the only one caring for this child before she was even born. I was an emotional wreck and there wasn’t anything or anyone that could make me feel better. I started to be really clingy and needed towards him. That alone drove me nuts because I had always been a very independent woman and never rarely asked anyone for help with anything. I cried almost everyday and that all stemmed from my parents getting on my nerves or him just coming over for an hour or two and leaving. I would cry just to get him to stay and that again wasn’t who I was. It worked for a couple of months at first but then he would just leave and not care if I felt sad or not. My woman intuition kicked in immediately and I start feeling like he was cheating on me. I called his phone one day and before it went to voicemail I attempted to see if I could figure out his password. That wasn’t hard because he never changed it from the manufacture passcode 1234.  (Dude how dumb could you be) Anyway I listen to them and they all were from females asking him where he was and why hasn’t he answered there calls. I was furious and called him right away. I asked him was he cheating and of course he asked me why did I think that. I wasn’t going to give him clue that I had check his voicemail. He said no and that he’d only wanted to be with me. I didn’t believe him and told him that if he wanted to end it we could. I told him I had no problem being a single parent and that I wasn’t going to be played for a fool. He came over the next day and tried to convince me that he wasn’t cheating and stayed over for the next few days… To be cont..

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